Dedication

Today, I Feel Like I Won.

There’s no external sign to prove it—no trophy, no big break, no applause—but deep within, I feel as if I’ve hit the jackpot. These past few days, I’ve gone inward, doing the deep, often invisible work of healing and self-discovery. And now I stand rooted in clarity: I know who I am, what belongs to me, how I got here, and why.

I feel no resentment—only peace. Life, even in its hardest and most uncomfortable moments, is working in my favor.

In my earlier years, especially during my religious zealot phase, I was willing to die for what I believed in. That martyr energy was strong in me. I lived with intense conviction, a fire that burned through naivety and into devotion. Now, as I look back, I realize: the war I ended up fighting was not the one I expected—but I was more prepared for it than I knew.

All those years of spiritual training and emotional excavation developed one irreplaceable quality in me: courage.

Courage to stand before the firing squad of life—not just for a God I believed in, but for myself. To believe that the God who created me also called me to love myself. To face my inner demons: the haunting doubts, the quiet fears of not being enough, the scarcity that whispered I wasn’t worthy of more than struggle and survival.

And I stood up.

I did the work.

Whether it meant charging forward or sitting still in the discomfort of truth—my truth—I showed up. Again and again. I let go of people, places, patterns, and beliefs that no longer served me. Not in bitterness, not with resentment—but in love. It all required tremendous courage.

Today, I feel like a soldier returning home from a long, soul-level war. I sit with steady breath, power in my spine, and love in my heart. I validate myself. I hold myself. I act on behalf of my highest and greatest good—step by step, breath by breath.

I’m no longer shaken by the chaos around me—not because I don’t care, but because I finally understand: it’s not my job to rescue the world. That urge has quieted. After all this, I see clearly: the only war worth fighting is the one within, and it’s a battle each soul must face for themselves.

You can’t wish yourself through it. Just like an untrained soldier can’t walk onto a battlefield and expect victory, transformation requires preparation, intention, and fire-tested courage.

Scripture speaks of the Battle of Armageddon, the site of great decision-making—perhaps a symbol of this very inner war. The mind is the true battlefield. And the life we live is the visible evidence of what side won within us.

Today, I sit in victory.

24 years ago, at age 12, I made the bold choice to dedicate my life to God. I had no idea what that path would require. But I stayed true. And despite the losses, I know now: I only lost what wasn’t mine. What I gained is everything that truly belongs to me.

And now, I look forward—with joy, with awe, with reverence—for what the next 24 years will reveal. The seeds I’ve planted deep in the soil of my soul are ready to blossom.

With a heart full of gratitude and love,

Kasey P.