Desire vs Request

Beach Lesson: Desire vs. Request

The other day, while teaching my son a life lesson, I realized I was offering him something I didn’t learn until much later in life. It’s a small tweak—almost invisible—but it makes all the difference in getting results.

You see, he often expresses his desires with such passion—he’ll say “I want a donut,” or “I want to watch TV,” over and over again until he’s blue in the face. But nothing happens. He gets frustrated and tired. And when he finally turns to me, exasperated, I gently ask, “What’s troubling you?” He repeats his desire.

I smile and say, “Oh, that’s wonderful that you have that desire. Now ask for it.”

And so, “I want a donut” becomes “May I have a donut, please?” “I want to watch TV” becomes “Mommy, Daddy, can I watch TV?”

It’s such a subtle shift, but it changes everything. Sometimes the answer is still no—but most times, it’s yes. And most importantly, he begins to understand that expressing desire is not the same as making a request. A desire floats, but a request moves. A desire can be admired, but a request invites a response.

I grew up in a culture where we were discouraged from asking. Asking seemed like begging. We were told to express desire and that somehow—someone, maybe even God—would fill it. But no one told us: even the Almighty processes requests.

I remember, just before I met my husband, a friend said something that stopped me in my tracks. I had spent years expressing the desire to be married, and she said: “Kasey, you’ve never actually asked.” A couple of weeks later, I met him.

That moment taught me that the shift from desire to request isn’t just semantics—it’s the difference between waiting in frustration and receiving in clarity.

So now I teach my son early:

Desire opens the heart. But request opens the door.

Remember to ask specifically for what you want!